My Mom is in the process of moving out of her house and into a retirement community. Although this may sound depressing to some, she’s in the throes of excited bliss at the prospect of reduced daily responsibilities while being around people her own age. We still have a ways to go but we’re getting close to having her settled in her new life.
As we were touring the retirement community last week, my Mom said something that I thought was interesting. She mentioned feeling like she was entering a new stage in her life. Given that she’s nearly 81 years old, this will most likely be the beginning of her final stage of life. However, the fact that she’s excited to cross this threshold and embrace all that lies ahead says something about her—and the human spirit in general.
It also got me thinking about the various stages of my life thus far.
If you’re anything like me, your early, mid and late twenties were a blur. A mixture of entirely too much alcohol and promiscuity provided a shaky foundation that somehow led to career advancement and a first marriage. What I didn’t realize at the time was how broken I was. My poor personal decisions were masking childhood trauma and anxiety that I had yet to face.
Identifying your demons is one thing, facing and combating them is something else altogether. This was the beginning of growth, change and self reliance. In other words, childhood was solidly in the rearview.
I lost my father to a heart aneurysm in my thirties. Losing a parent is an inflection point in a person’s life. It makes you realize that each day is precious and shouldn’t be wasted doing something you dislike around people you no longer love. I have an immense amount of empathy for anyone who loses a parent at a much younger age than what I experienced. Life becomes darker and more cynical. The days grow shorter and time accelerates at a rate of speed improbable to an eighteen year old looking for ways to entertain themselves.
As I entered my forties with a newborn baby, you can imagine there was zero time for reflection or any other kind of self care. Child rearing is a young person’s game and yet, I chose to participate later on in life. I’m sure glad that I did. My kids have provided a joy and sense of human connection that can’t be purchased with any amount of money.
What I’ve learned thus far in my fifties is that each stage is unique and should be celebrated. Having the ability to celebrate with comfort and less stress takes planning, good decision making and swimming upstream from the rest of the crowd. Keeping your head down and worrying about your own life rather than those around you will pay huge dividends in the long run.
Poor financial decisions in my twenties allowed me to learn from my mistakes and plan accordingly for the future. My runway was much longer back then, making it easier to pivot and begin moving in the right direction. Perhaps your runway is shorter but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to shift into gear and motor toward a newfound goal.
If you’re feeling skeptical, use my Mom as your example. If an 81 year old woman can get excited about the next stage of her life, what makes you any different? Similar to a child on Christmas morning, we all have the ability to feel butterflies in our stomach at the thought of something new and exciting.
Just make sure you’ve saved enough to put a few presents under the tree for your future self.
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Patrick Byrne lives in Tega Cay with his wife and two daughters. After 25 years working for a Big 4 bank, he retired to pursue his passion for writing. Additional articles and content can be found on his blog (reverian1776.blogspot.com) and freethepeople.org.
Patrick can be reach via email at [email protected]
