TEGA CAY, SC — At 81 years old, Alan Offen has lived a life full of family, love, and a distinguished legal career. Now retired and settled in Tega Cay, Alan is sharing his life’s work in a newly released memoir available on Amazon, You Can’t Make This Up: The Memoir of a Matrimonial Attorney, a 450-page collection of his experiences as a matrimonial lawyer, with stories ranging from the heartbreaking to the uplifting.
Originally from Rochester, New York, Alan’s life was defined by his dedication to family and his passion for law. He married his wife, Sue, and together they spent 45 years building a life until Sue passed away from lung cancer in August 2023. She had moved to Tega Cay in 2010, while Alan remained in Rochester, commuting back and forth for six years before retiring and joining her in 2016.
Sue and Alan raised three children, including Alan’s stepdaughter Teri, who also lives in Tega Cay with her partner Tom and her two teenage children. Alan’s son, Todd, settled in Hilton Head in 1989, starting what Alan calls the “southern migration” of his family. His daughter Nancy remains in Rochester. Together, the family has grown to include five grandchildren and two great-grandchildren with a third on the way.
In addition to his career, Alan has been willing to serve in leadership roles in support of the community. At one point, he was on the national board of directors for Michigan State Alumni, his alma mater. He was also on the Monroe County Bar Association and served as President of the Family Law Section.
More recently, he served as president of the Tega Cay Croquet Club (TCCC), which boasts over 100 members and is affiliated with the National Croquet Club. His passion for croquet reflects his love for bringing people together, a trait that also shaped his professional life.
Alan’s career in matrimonial law spanned decades, and his experiences inspired him to write his memoir. “People would hear my stories—some were sad, some happy, others just bizarre—and they would tell me, ‘You ought to write a book,’ so I started,” Alan explained. He was also inspired by his father, who kept a daily diary for over 40 years, and his own diary from a trip to Israel with his daughter Nancy.
The book, which was recently published, dives deep into Alan’s personal life and legal career, offering readers an authentic look at the day-to-day challenges faced by a matrimonial lawyer in Western New York. “I wasn’t in a big fancy firm,” Alan said. “This was the average attorney’s life—some cases went well, some didn’t. But every case had a story.”
One story that still brings Alan to tears involves an adoption case that he calls a “Christmas miracle.” A client’s son, who was terminally ill, and his wife wanted to adopt a child before he passed away. In a matter of six weeks, something that usually takes six months or longer, the adoption was finalized, allowing the child to know he had a father before his passing. “I still get emotional thinking about it,” Alan shared.
The last chapter of Alan’s book is titled, “Was it all Worth It?” This chapter recounts a post-divorce custody case which exemplifies all the emotions inherent in his practice. Ironically, the answer to that question occurred shortly after his retirement.
Alan credits much of his book’s success to a chance meeting at his 60th high school reunion, where he reconnected with a former classmate, Dr. Margie Schiering, who happens to be an English professor. She offered to edit his book, and together, they worked to transform his notes and drafts into a cohesive narrative.
Now, with the book freshly published, Alan is planning a book signing event to celebrate with friends and family. For Alan, the journey of writing his memoir has been about more than just telling his story—it’s about preserving family history for the next generation, just as his father did before him.
